Skin Deep
by BespectacledSloth
Summary: Hiro and Tadashi deal with the aftermath of the accident at S-FIT and the way a deadly fire can change not only a life, but the people living it. Live!Tadashi. T for possible language later. (Special thanks to noblesse-oblige, anon, and friggas-loki for the idea and much of the important details!)
1. Chapter 1

_"Tadashi!" Hiro screamed. He screamed until it felt like glass was ripping his throat apart, until it felt like the sun and the moon had crashed to Earth and he was being ripped apart by the inferno of the suns blaze. He felt like he was going mad, like something inside of him had snapped and his world was falling apart in chunks that began to float into the distance. This was it. This was all he had. He had his brother, his Aunt, and this school. He screamed until he had to be dragged away from the burning building so that firefighters could get the blaze put out._

_And then he kept screaming for his big brother._

* * *

><p>Hiro sat in the garage staring at the 3D render of a new improved Megabot design he'd been working on that involved Megabot itself transforming into something bigger and more powerful, instead of just the controller getting a little bigger. He stared intensely at the image on the screen until his eyes started to cross and he had to push away from the screen and take a break. He stood up, stretching high to the ceiling, and glanced around. He needed something to do that wasn't on a screen for awhile. That's when he noticed the box of spare parts up on the high shelf above the 3D printer. There was probably something in there he could use to enhance Megabot, he just needed to reach it.<p>

He stood on his tip-toes, but couldn't get quite high enough to grab it. Then he brought a milk crate over and turned it upside down, but he still couldn't quite get hold of it. That's when he grabbed his rolling chair and brought it close to the printer, then climbed on top and stretched up high.

"Whoa, whoa! What are you doing?"

Startled, Hiro jumped and nearly plummeted backwards off the chair as it zipped away from his feet. He let out a small shout, but stopped short when he realized he wasn't falling anymore. He was, however, hovering dangerously close to staining his pants with juice that had been freshly spilled onto the garage floor.

"Oh great, now look what you did, bonehead! You knocked the pitcher over with your chair," Tadashi groaned, shooting him a disapproving look, "Why were you standing on that stupid chair anyways?"

Hiro shrugged, glancing up at the box, "I wanted to see what kind of spare parts I had lying around to add to Megabot. I need to make him better for an assignment at school."

Tadashi sighed, "Come help me clean this up, and then we'll talk about getting the box down _safely._"

The pair walked from the garage into the cafe and grabbed a couple of mops and a bucket to take out so they could clean the floors. They each snagged a handful of cookies and donuts while they were in there and escorted the delicious treats out on plates to the computer desk, leaving them there for when they finished cleaning. They each sloshed their mop around in the bucket for a second, then wrung it out and began mopping up the already sticky red mess.

Hiro glanced at Tadashi as they cleaned, noting his disgruntled face. He was going to give him a big lecture on safety and Hiro could already feel it weighing in on his time to do anything that day. He almost considered bailing on the lecture entirely by excusing himself and going up to his room to study for a test he already knew all of the answers to, but when he glanced at Tadashi's neck and saw the faint glimmer of a scar just under the collar of his shirt, he looked straight down at the floor and kept cleaning without a word.

By the time the floor was practically shining—or as shining as a garage floor can be anyways—Tadashi didn't seem as mad about Hiro standing on the rolling chair, so he hoped the lecture he was going to get would be short, but instead of getting a lecture at all, Tadashi wandered over to the shelf and looked up at the box.

"Why did we even put that up there anyways?" He wondered aloud.

Hiro shrugged and looked up as well, "I don't remember what's in it, except that it's spare parts. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"One or two things in there may be stuff of yours I accidentally broke and hid so you wouldn't be mad at me." When Tadashi raised an eyebrow at him, Hiro raised his hands defensively, "I was young, you can't hold it against me!"

"You're still young and that remains to be seen," he said, stepping over to the storage cabinet on the far side of the room and fishing a small step stool from behind it, "And in case it wasn't clear by the fact that you nearly hurt yourself, this is how you reach things on a high shelf, not using a rolling unstable chair, genius."

"Ah, there's my lecture. I was getting worried," he remarked snarkily.

Tadashi rolled his eyes and laughed softly as he took a step up onto the stool and reached high for the box, his shirt lifting slightly to reveal his stomach and back.

Hiro couldn't pull his eyes away as he watched the shirt rise over the spiderweb network of scars that covered the entire visible portion of skin on his back, and faded into his side just before his stomach. He had some scars that looked much worse than others, some that were so off in color there was clearly no covering them no matter what when that shirt was off, and the scars themselves probably stretched the length of his back, and obviously up to his neck from what Hiro had seen earlier.

"Hiro?" Tadashi said, turning to hand him the box and noticing his stare. "Oh," he said softly, placing the box on top of the printer and stepping down. He moved to rearrange his shirt over the scars where it had caught his pants and was still showing, but he found Hiro's hands there to stop him.

"I want to see," Hiro said emphatically, looking him in the eyes. "I want to see your scars."

Tadashi stared at him for a long moment, then took a breath grabbed the shirt by the collar, hoisting it over his head and off. His entire upper torso on the front side looked fine apart from a small scar that curved over his shoulder and up the side of his neck to his jawbone, but it was hardly visible unless it was directly sought out. His back, however, was a labyrinth of scars crossing one way and the next where some areas had been burned worse than others, and some scars still bore a slight scab where the flesh had yet to completely heal under it.

Hiro stared at the scars and took a shaky breath. He couldn't think of words that weren't "I'm sorry" or "it's all my fault" and he'd already been told, back when Tadashi was in the hospital recovering, that he wasn't to say any of that. Tadashi didn't want to hear it. It wasn't his fault and he shouldn't worry because he'd be feeling better again in no time.

They were both quiet for a moment, then Tadashi turned to face him with a gentle smile on his face, "Come on, let's see what's in this box for Megabot," he said as he put his shirt back on and ruffled Hiro's hair. "We could give him something crazy like laser hands or a flamethrower."

Hiro laughed a little and scrubbed at his eyes quickly, wheeling around, "Well, you know," he said with a half-grin, "I've always wanted to have a flying robot."

x-x-x-x-x-x

Chapter one is SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPER short, but don't worry, there's longer stuff to come, I just wanted to lay some foundation here before I started brainstorming the really depressing stuff.

Did I say depressing? I MEANT HAPPY.

YEAH.

SO HAPPY.

Reviews are always appreciated, I love everyone who even glances at a few words I've vomited onto the page here, so please know that I appreciate each and every person who reviews, likes, and follows so so so so much. You guys are the reason I upload and the reason I love posting my dribblings! Thank you thank you thank and as always feel free to message me on my tumblr (link on my profile!) if there's a story you've got in mind, be it for Big Hero 6 or anything listed on my profile, I'm always happy to write anything that catches my interest!


	2. Chapter 2

They had worked for some time on trying to add to Megabot without making him clunky or useless. They tried adding lasers, and wings, and camouflage scaling, but everything made Megabot look like a heap of junk that had just been thrown together to fit the prompt. The project for class was to make something that was essentially larger than life when activated, but that seemed like a feat that may need an entirely new bot to accomplish and Hiro had only two days to come up with it. He'd figure something out, eventually, of course, but by the time they'd realized that fiddling with Megabot was useless, it was already nearly midnight, so they retreated to their bedroom to get some shut-eye before class the next day.

* * *

><p><em>Hiro was sitting behind the ambulance, hugging his knees and wishing the world would right itself again and that none of this had ever happened. After he'd been pulled away from the barricade, he'd tried to sneak around it and get into the building. He had to find Tadashi. He had to find him and he had to help him. What if he was trapped? Or hurt? Or trapped and hurt? What if he had been knocked out by the explosion and couldn't escape because he wasn't awake to do it? <em>

_ What if._

_ "Here he is," he heard Honey Lemon say as she came around the side of the truck, stepping over the hose that was stretched out to the front of the building and pumping gallons of water onto the inferno. She stepped over to him and joined him on the ground, sitting close enough that he could smell her flower-scented perfume. The rest of the group joined them and knelt beside him._

_ "I should have gone after him," he said, his throat feeling tight and making the words sound strained._

_ "Then they'd be looking for you, too, Hiro," Honey said, putting her arm around his shoulders and gently hugging him close to her. He looked up at her as she pulled him close and could tell from the look in her eyes that she didn't hold out hope that 'looking for' was going to turn into 'found,' or if it did, it wouldn't be good news. _

_ That's when he heard shouting come from the building and lifted his head to listen to the chatter. Most of it was masked by the sound of the hoses and directions coming from the fire chief, but he had distinctly heard someone say they were coming out and needed paramedics._

_ He closed his eyes and rose from his seat, coming around the side of the truck in time to see a fireman helping a young woman, who had, Hiro found out later, been in the far back of the building and was unharmed, but had inhaled a lot of smoke. He visibly faltered and had to lean on the fire engine to keep himself steady._

_ "You need to sit down, Hiro," Wasabi said softly to him, helping him stand, "Come on, come sit in the car. If they find him-"_

_ "When." Hiro snapped at him, "When they find him. And I'm not sitting down. I should be in there. I should be helping. I should have stopped him from ever going in!" He was so frustrated with himself that he only caught the end of a conversation nearby._

_ "-trapped under a beam," a fireman said, his hand resting gently on Aunt Cass' shoulder. _

_ "Is he okay? Is he...?" Aunt Cass couldn't say the word out loud, but Hiro knew where she'd been headed._

Dead.

_ He made his way over to her, leaving his friends by the end of the firetruck, and listened carefully even from the distance._

_ "He's alive," the fireman said after thinking for a moment on how to phrase it, and Hiro saw Aunt Cass wobble a little as relief swept over her. Even he felt the wave wash over him, but he didn't let it engulf him like Aunt Cass did. Something about the fireman's face told him that he wasn't okay._

_ When he reached her, she looked at him and put her arm around him, tears dancing in her eyes and on her lashes, "They found him. He's okay." _

_ Hiro looked at the fireman, "Why is he still in there?" he asked, almost inaudible over the ruckus all around them._

_ The fireman swallowed thickly, Hiro even saw the bob of his Adam's apple behind the thick collar of his uniform, "He's trapped," he admitted quickly. "We're working to get him out, we have oxygen on him so he's not inhaling smoke anymore, but he's wedged under a beam. We're trying to get him out as quickly as we can, but the fire isn't reacting to the hoses like we'd hoped. There were too many chemicals in the building, it's not going down easily."_

_ Aunt Cass nodded, taking a shaky breath and partially relying on Hiro to keep her on her feet, "Okay," she said softly, "Okay. Go, uh, go back to... whatever it is you do," she couldn't find the words to fill the gaps between her uneasy breaths and waved one trembling hand to shoo the fireman away. _

_ When he was gone she began to cry softly for a moment, then steeled herself when she saw Hiro's eyes carefully scanning over her face. He wasn't sure how to comfort her when he was inconsolable. He wasn't sure how to react to his Aunt Cass, always strong-willed and even more brave than Tadashi in the face of trouble, crying. It didn't click with him to see her shedding tears. Eyes watering during a movie was one thing, but this was full-on tears and he froze up._

_ "They'll get him out," she said when she had recovered and calmed herself, mostly trying to convince herself that everything would be the same. "He'll be okay," she didn't sound very sure, and Hiro wondered if she was also wishing the time would turn back._

* * *

><p>Hiro awoke with a start as his brother lay in bed, screaming and writhing on top of the sheets, every bit of padded blanket scattered on the floor in messy heaps in an attempt to free himself from the heat of them.<p>

He heard the familiar thump of Aunt Cass climbing quickly out of bed—she hardly slept anymore, and not just for this reason; she was constantly getting up to check the stove to make sure it was off, candles—even though she never lit them—to make sure they weren't lit, and nervously moving things away from electrical outlets. She was even nervous about having the desks so close to the wall anymore.

The door to the bedroom swung open and he could see her silhouette as she took a moment to breathe before she made her way to Tadashi's side and whispered gently to him to calm him down. She held him in her arms as he openly cried, whispering that the scars didn't hurt, but the flames made them sting fresh, even if they were in his head. He couldn't escape the fire, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Tadashi continued to cry, at one point sobbing hard enough that he made himself cough, until Aunt Cass offered him sleeping medication. He'd been seeing a specialist for awhile and had been prescribed sleeping medication to help with the nightmares, but they always made him feel irritable and sluggish the next morning, so he avoided taking them unless he absolutely had to.

Tonight he downed them without argument.

Aunt Cass stayed with him for awhile until he'd fallen into a deep sleep, then she sat and just stroked her fingers through his hair, watching his chest rise and fall and quietly whispering "I love you"s to him even though he couldn't hear her.

But Hiro could.

They always made comments in the mornings about how Hiro could sleep through anything, but that wasn't true. He would always wake up when Tadashi screamed. He was always awake when Aunt Cass came in. He was almost always awake, in fact, only sleeping a few hours a night, and it wasn't just because of Tadashi, it was because of his own nightmares, too. He often dreamed about if he'd run into the fire after Tadashi, but the fire wasn't hot for him. He didn't know what it felt like to feel the heat, and so in his dreams the fire felt cool and didn't harm him, but when he'd come back out from the building, everyone was gone, and the building continued burning. No one had come in to save him because they blamed him for it.

He wasn't worth saving, because he'd let his brother go into the flames.

So Hiro tried not to sleep.

He didn't tell them about his nightmares, of course. He didn't want them to worry about him. Tadashi was more important.

While Aunt Cass was in the room, Hiro always lay with his blanket or a pillow covering his face so she would think he was completely out, but tonight, like every night, he had his eyes squeezed shut tight enough to hurt his eyes as he quietly mouthed a small prayer to himself, hoping for Tadashi to never have a nightmare again. He wished for this every night, sometimes praying to gods of religions he didn't worship, sometimes praying to gods that didn't exist anymore, sometimes offering to make deals with anyone who would help. He didn't cry anymore—he did for awhile after Aunt Cass left each night. Instead of hoping or praying for a miracle he'd just lay there, hugging his pillow to his chest and crying. He'd felt guilty for crying, because it wasn't his body that was scarred, and it wasn't his life that was so drastically impacted, and they weren't his nightmares, but he couldn't stop the emotion from welling him inside of him and screaming for release. After months of this, he'd started to become numb to it, and cried because it was routine, but now he couldn't shed a tear if he tried.

When Aunt Cass left the room, he heard the familiar creak of the stairs as she stepped downstairs to check the stove, and that was his queue to climb out of bed.

On nights when Tadashi took his pills, he wouldn't wake up the next morning until nearly noon, while Hiro, accustomed to getting a minimal amount of sleep anymore, would be up by nine almost every day. That gave him time to escape back to his bed and make it look like he'd spent the entire night in it by tossing blankets in every direction and leaving them on the floor at the sides of his bed.

He crept to Tadashi's bed and whispered his name a few times to make sure he was asleep, then crawled into the bed next to him and snuggled up close to him. Not touching, never touching, he couldn't risk Tadashi feeling too warm and waking up despite the pills, but just close enough that he could remind himself that Tadashi was there and he was alive and everything might be okay again some day.

* * *

><p>Aunt Cass heard the creaking overhead, knowing that Hiro was sneaking into bed with Tadashi. She'd come back several nights to check on them, only to find him there, curled up next to his brother with tear tracks on his face, or crying out in his sleep trying to find his brother. Tadashi was almost impossible to wake up with the medication he'd been given, so nothing fazed him from Hiro's interaction, and she doubted that he even knew how Hiro was suffering because of his own suffering.<p>

She made her way to the couch and took a seat, always making sure she was facing completely away from the stairs in case one of the boys came down for a drink or to think, and she pulled her knees in to her chest, laying her head against the fabric of her pajama pants, and began to shake with quiet sobs.

Her boys—_her _boys—were hurting and there was nothing she could do that could ever fix them. Tadashi, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, would fall apart the seams any time he saw fire or Hiro doing something reckless, fearful to ever see Hiro hurt like he had been so many months ago, and Hiro, now matter how much _he_ tried to hide it, was just as jumpy. The slightest noise would startle him, but explosions most of all. Fourth of July had been a horrible experience for him this year. He'd spent half the night hiding in the closet with his hands clamped firmly over his ears as Tadashi tried to coax him out, despite reacting almost as violently the second the first firework launched.

Her boys were broken and she didn't have the skills to fix them.

Her boys had almost become her boy.

She had nearly lost Tadashi, and if she had lost him she'd have had Hiro. She'd have had Hiro and he would be it. Her only surviving family. And she'd be his only family. At fourteen he'd have one family member left in his entire life and it would be his good-for-nothing helpless aunt. She could barely keep it together whenever she looked at them, especially when Tadashi was hurting. She couldn't even look Hiro in the eyes anymore and often addressed him with her back to him so she couldn't see the blame in his eyes.

Blame for her.

Of course he blamed her.

Tadashi had been trapped and what had she done? She stood there and watched the building burn. She did nothing. She didn't fight to try and help him, she didn't struggle past the barricade and call for her nephew. She stood by and tried to hold herself together like she was fine china with a single crack.

And now she had more cracks. She had more cracks than anyone could ever fix.

She was broken just like her boys.

And she had to hold herself together.

For her boys.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Special thanks to noblesse-oblige, anon, and friggas-loki for the idea and much of the important details concerning each character.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Saturday, and breakfast was quiet apart from the occasional _clink_ of a spoon tapping the side of a bowl or the creak of the chairs as one of the trio shifted uncomfortably in the silence. The sound of a ticking clock down in the cafe could nearly be heard as they sat as far apart from each other as the tiny dining table would allow, heads down and staring into their food or at their owns hands or laps, just avoiding eye contact and speech entirely.

Breakfast hadn't been this quiet at first. At first they'd tried to make conversation, ease back into the groove of their lives, but they soon found that no matter what they tried, that groove had become a canyon and there was no way into it without pain—physical and emotional. Fights broke out, shouting and screaming until the only way to get a word in edgewise was to say something uncalled-for, and, during one particular fight, Tadashi raised his hand to Hiro. It had been in the heat of the moment, and he hadn't struck him, but Hiro had said something he hadn't meant when he was upset and fired up in the middle of a petty argument.

_Maybe you should have just gone ahead and died in that fire!_ He'd said. _I hate you!_

And Tadashi had raised a hand to strike him as though it was second nature to him. It wasn't, of course. Tadashi would never hurt a fly. He knew that, Hiro knew that, Aunt Cass, Honey, Wasabi. Everyone who knew Tadashi knew he'd never strike someone unless they were deserving of it—like the bullies that used to torment Hiro in high school. He'd kicked their butts up one side and down the other.

But when he raised his hand to Hiro, Hiro had flinched and shied away from him like he'd already been struck.

Tadashi had felt ashamed.

And that was the last time any of them spoken at the table.

This morning, Hiro had bags under his eyes and his head was drooped to the side a little, using his shoulder as an uncomfortable bony pillow.

Of course, Hiro always had bags under his eyes, but this time was different. He'd spent half the night making sure Tadashi was breathing after his initial bout of sleep was interrupted by a particularly graphic dream of Tadashi rushing into the fire and burning alive. And the problem wasn't the dream itself, it was that he'd watched the wounds forming that now formed the labyrinth of scars on Tadashi's back and shoulders. It had been so real to him, he'd nearly been the one to wake up screaming. Instead he had paced for awhile, hugging his arms to his chest and breathing deeply until he couldn't take it anymore. He had opened the window, climbed outside and stood on the edge of the windowsill for a moment, staring down at the ground for what seemed like hours, then took a breath and pulled himself up onto the roof. He began to scream. He began to scream and cry and throw roof tiles towards the stars, cursing them for mocking him with their twinkling smiles. He screamed until his throat was sore, until tears streamed down his cheeks like lava flows, hot and stinging his eyes.

He had sat outside for awhile after he calmed down, letting the cool air sting his flesh and dry his eyes until the sun began to rise into the sky and Tadashi began to stir from his slumber.

He sat quietly in the middle of the table, mostly stirring his cereal around, avoiding eye contact with Aunt Cass. He'd been avoiding eye contact with her for some time now since the accident, fearful that she would blame him for not trying harder to stop Tadashi. They wouldn't have even been there if not for his obsession with attending the school. She was right to blame him, and he'd pretty much began to avoid her completely excluding meal times and necessary transportation so she wouldn't have to look at him and remember how horrible he was. Luckily, that left them with very few interactions in a day, and sometimes none at all if he left early and came home late enough.

Whenever they did meet each others' eyes, they would both look away, and that's how Hiro could tell she hated him. It's how he could tell she no longer wanted him around, nor near Tadashi to put him in the way of any more harm. He'd tried to leave a few times, but whenever he got too far away, he felt this overwhelming fear and felt pain in his chest until he came back.

He wished he could fulfill her wish for him to leave, but honestly, he was terrified.

Rising from the table, Hiro took his dishes to the sink and sat them on the edge, picking up a sponge to clean them and washing them in silence as Aunt Cass and Tadashi's spoons continued to clink in the virtual silence. He finished washing and glanced at them as they ate in silence, then sighed, walking out of the room and up to his bedroom. He sat down on the bed and looked around.

What would this room be like if Tadashi had died? Would it feel cold? Empty? Lonely? Would Hiro be able to live in here knowing that for ten years his brother had lived on the other side of the room from him and then one day he was just gone all because he tried to be a hero?

_That's a stupid reason to die,_ Hiro realized. _Being a hero. All you're doing is risking your life for someone else. That's it. So what if they die? _You _could live and keep being with your family. You could choose to wait on the sidelines and not terrify your family into wondering who could drop dead at any second._

But if you died, you would be **free**.

No fear, no pain, no sadness. No love and compassion either, but to be fearless and know no suffering... That truly sounded like a gift.

Hiro sighed and removed his hoodie, lying back and tucking his hands behind his head. A few minutes of relaxing wouldn't hurt. He closed his eyes and drifted somewhere between consciousness and sleep.

Tadashi came up to the bedroom and leaned on the door frame, looking at his little brother. He watched the rise and fall of his chest for some time before going to his bedside and sitting down next to him. He brushed his fingers through Hiro's hair, and smiled a little. He used to do that when Hiro was sick as a child and it would always help him fall asleep so he could rest up. He moved to tuck Hiro in, knowing he hadn't slept well—had he expected not to wake half the neighborhood up, screaming on the rooftop like that?-and smiled a little more.

He knew how hard this all must be for Hiro. While Tadashi had gotten several years with their parents before they died, Hiro could barely remember anything about them beyond how they looked. He hadn't had the chance to know them enough to miss them anymore. The only people he remembered, who he cared enough about to mourn, were the two family members he had left: Tadashi and Aunt Cass. Losing Tadashi would have meant losing the most important person in his entire life, the person who, besides Aunt Cass, basically raised him.

And Tadashi felt ashamed.

He'd put himself in danger, run right into that fire, and for what? To traumatize his family? To traumatize himself? Surviving the fire was the worst possible thing he could have put his family through. Now there were hospital bills, therapists, counselors, there was talk of taking Hiro away from Aunt Cass for the longest time because of the fire. He had nearly gotten Hiro removed from his home because he wanted to save one person.

It wasn't that Tadashi didn't look at himself and think that maybe if he'd been quicker he still could have saved Professor Callaghan, or gotten less injured, but when there was someone right in front of him that needed help, he couldn't just turn away.

Not even for the sake of Hiro.

"Nn, Tadashi..." Hiro murmured, his hand reaching out but grasping nothing but air. "Don't go!" he cried in his sleep.

Tadashi kept stroking his hair, "Shh, I'm here," he whispered. "It's alright, I'm here," he lay down beside him and pulled him close as Hiro began to thrash about in his sleep. "Shh, Hiro," he said softly, he laid down next to him, pulling him into a light hug,"You're okay, I'm okay, Aunt Cass is okay. Everybody is okay. We're all safe. I'm here, shh," he felt Hiro calm down and breathe more steadily as he snuggled against Tadashi, small tears escaping form his closed eyes, and snuggling his face into Tadashi's shirt. "Everybody's okay," he repeated again softly.

_And someday, maybe we'll __**be**__ okay again. _

Tadashi wrapped his arms tightly around Hiro and held him close until both of them had fallen fast asleep.

Aunt Cass came up some time later and sat by her boys, tears dancing in her eyes. She watched Tadashi sleep for awhile, then Hiro, then both of them together, and began to cry openly beside them, having to keep her hand over her mouth so she wouldn't make noise and wake them up, but she knew the bed was shaking from how hard she was crying, and she soon felt Tadashi put his hand on her leg to get her attention.

She took a deep breath and tried to steel herself before she turned to him, tear tracks still prominently displayed on her face, and leaned over to hug him, "I'm sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to wake you," her breath faltered and she had to pause for a second before she continued, "Go back to sleep."

"Aunt Cass," he said, finding her hand and grasping it softly, "It's okay to cry."

She got up, straightening her dress, "I'm okay, Tadashi," she said. "Go back to sleep."

"But-"

"I'm fine!" She snapped, then put her hand over her mouth as Hiro stirred and shifted, curling farther into Tadashi's embrace. Cass stared at Hiro for awhile, watching how he moved his lips like he was speaking in his sleep, but not making any other sounds beyond his breathing. She felt more tears begin to escape from her eyes and desperately tried to wipe them away.

"Aunt Cass," Tadashi said a little more firmly, sitting up partially without waking Hiro, "It's okay to cry. Crying is a natural response to pain," he held out his hand and invited her to come sit on the bed, "Physical _and_ emotional."

She came over, taking his hand and sitting on the bed, "Tadashi you just don't understand... It's not that easy it's..." she groaned, waving her free hand about in the air, "It's adult_..._stuff._"_

He shook his head, "It's human stuff, but it's okay to not be strong, Aunt Cass. You have been _so _strong, and _so _good, but you can't pretend you're not upset. You can't bottle it up. You can cry, Aunt Cass. Hiro and I would never, ever think any less of you for it." He looked her in the eyes and repeated himself one more time, "It's okay to cry,"

And she did.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Thanks for reading!

As always, a HUGE GINORMOUS thanks to noblesse—oblige and friggas-loki on tumblr for the ideas even though this chapter was just expanding on character feelings and things for now, but we're gonna get to the meat soon!

Go ahead and pound that favourite button if you so feel like it and tell me what you thought in that nifty review box! If you'd like to see your idea come to life, always feel free to leave a review with what you think should happen next and I might go along with it! THANKS AGAIN!

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	4. Chapter 4

Hiro stared up at the ceiling from where he lay under the water that filled the tub. He blinked, watching the bubbles rise from his nose to the surface and continued to lay there long after some of them had completely disappeared. He kept staring up until his lungs had started to scream, then slowly lifted himself out of the water and shivered as the cold air hit his soaked torso. He stayed sitting up for a few minutes, then slowly lowered himself back into the water, and once his head touched the bottom of the tub he shook his hair out so he could watch it drift mindlessly in the slight current he'd made from his own movements. It was soothing, and he closed his eyes to relax in the warm water.

After a short while, he realized he hadn't come up for air and could feel the need for breath coming but tried to stay down as long as possible, even going so far as to plant his hands on the side of the tub and push himself down. He felt his throat contract as his body tried to urge him to come up for air and his chest began to ache. He had to remove one hand from the side of the tub to hold his nose and squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could to try and draw focus away from near burning sensation he felt in his lungs and chest.

When he could take it no longer, her quickly sat up and gasped for air, leaning over the tub and breathing as deeply as he could manage, feeling the pain subside as the cool air seeped into his every dripping wet pore.

He heard a knock on the door and tried to catch his breath quickly before answering, "Yes?"

"You've been in there for awhile," Tadashi said. "You okay?"

Hiro paused and thought about it. Was he okay? Logically speaking, no not in the slightest. He'd thought about jumping off the roof, jumping out the window, he'd just tried to drown himself, and he couldn't shake this feeling that some day Tadashi was going to die and leave him all alone with Aunt Cass and his thoughts.

Or worse, Aunt Cass would die too and then that would be it. He'd be completely alone. Physically and emotionally.

But instead of saying that, he just said, "I'm fine. I'll be out in a second."

When he did get out, he dressed quickly and, hair still wet, opened the window to climb outside. He stood on the edge and took a few breaths as he stared down at the sidewalk, then hopped up onto the roof after a few moments. He did this every night when he climbed up to watch the stars and think about things. He'd stare at the ground, wondering if a fall from that height really would do anything, then he'd climb up top and wonder if the few extra feet would make a difference.

Tonight, he was up there for a half hour when he heard the window slide open further than he'd opened it and he watched Tadashi slowly pull himself up over the edge of the roof.

"Hey," he said softly, carefully walking over to him and sitting down at his side, "Can we talk?"

Hiro pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, hugging himself tightly, "No," he said.

Tadashi was quiet for a moment, studying him, studying the view, the stars. He laid back on the roof and both of them remained silent until the sound of a siren a few roads over rang out into the night and Tadashi took a long breath, releasing it with a sigh.

"I know you've been..." he tried to find the right word, "Struggling."

"I'm fine," Hiro said through gritted teeth. He didn't want to talk about this with him. Not now. Not ever.

Tadashi was quiet for awhile longer, then said softly, "You know, it's not just you that is suffering because of that fire."

"I know that!" Hiro half-shouted, hugging his knees tighter and feeling a stutter in his breathing as he turned his head away and tried not to cry, "I know I'm not!"

"I did the same thing as you for the first few nights. Especially in the hospital. I would go to the window and just... look down."

Lifting his head, Hiro looked at him with wide eyes, opening and closing his mouth a fraction, trying to find words but feeling them floating just out of range of his mouth. He took to biting his lip instead and darting his eyes away, then putting his head back down on his knees.

"I mean, I was trapped in there. I was conscious and I was trapped and I couldn't call for help because of the smoke. I couldn't breathe. I almost died and instead of being thankful for the life those firemen saved that night, I looked out the window and thought about ending it for sure. Because I was scared," he sat up and pulled one knee close to himself, using it as an arm rest, "I was scared of everything life could and would bring after that fire. The looming feeling that everyone dies someday, that I might find myself alone," he paused and nudged Hiro lightly, "Or brotherless." He dragged a hand through his hair, then looked down at the roof tiles, "I'm still scared. But I'm coping." He looked at Hiro, "And you should be too."

Hiro didn't look at him. He couldn't. Tadashi just didn't get it. He couldn't see that Hiro had spent hours in the waiting room of the hospital that night, preparing himself for the worst and resolving to the fact that his brother was gone. He'd spent hours having the time to think about Tadashi and everything they'd ever done together. He had had time to sit and think about the accident that took their parents and he had remembered bits and pieces of the incident. He had sat for hours thinking about how every time something happened to his family, he could do nothing but stand by and watch.

And that terrified him, because it meant he would spent his entire life being inadequate and a failure to everyone he ever loved or would love.

Death wasn't what terrified Hiro and haunted his dreams. Life was.

He stood up. He hadn't wanted to talk about all of this in the first place, and he really didn't want to now. He walked to the edge of the roof and sat down away from Tadashi and climbed down into their shared bedroom. He just wanted some time alone, and if that meant taking drastic measures, he would.

He left the window open so Tadashi could come in if he wanted—and wasn't surprised when he came in seconds after him and began trying to talk to him again—and set about looking for the jacket he hadn't worn since the fire. It had been shoved under his bed, he assumed, once he'd found it there, and hadn't aired out.

He could still smell the fire on it.

Shoving his arms through the sleeves, he walked out the door, Tadashi hot on his heels, and headed downstairs to leave.

"Where do you think you're going, Hiro?" Tadashi said, catching up to, and then passing, him on the stairs and blocking his path. "It's the middle of the night."

"I'm going for a walk," he said, "And you're not stopping me." He ducked under Tadashi's arms and started forward, then let out a noise of surprise when Tadashi's arms came around his stomach and yanked him back gently, keeping him in place.

Tadashi held onto him, but could practically feel his resolve to leave. He wasn't going to give up and agree to sit and talk, he was just going to deflect his attempts to communicate and try to escape again. He let him go, "Be safe," he whispered.

Hiro didn't look back.

How long had it been?

A few minutes? Hours? Hiro wasn't sure. He'd been wandering in an angry stupor, taking his frustration out on defenseless trashcans and elderly cardboard boxes as he marched down the streets and alleyways of San Fransokyo until he found himself down an alley that lead to the old storage warehouse for the shipping yard. He was standing in front of the locked doors, his head resting lightly against the wooden surface, eyes closed, as he took some breaths. He was only vaguely aware of how to get home from this particular location, but was sure he'd find his way eventually.

In the midst of his thoughts, Hiro noticed a faint buzzing noise coming from inside the building. It had been shut down and sealed for years, but that was the unmistakeable sound of a motor coming form behind the locked doors. He stood up and rattled the doors a little, then looked around for another way in. Everything was seemingly locked up tight except for a window that was cracked open high above.

Hiro looked around for some way to get up to the window and was able to construct a primitive ladder slash staircase up to the window and climbed up, wobbling on the unstable stack as he climbed. When he reached the window, he had to lean a little to reach it and grasped the edge just as the wobbling got too much for some of the base boxes and they collapsed into themselves or broke away from the stack, causing those at the top to fall and leaving Hiro dangling from the window. Using small notches he could find to catch his feet on as leverage to get himself inside and propelled himself forward across the walkway in front of him.

Hiro lay there for a moment, catching his breath, then stood up and walked forward a ways when he suddenly heard a zipping, motor-like noise from within his pocket.

Reaching deep into the recesses of lint, he found one of his microbots as it struggled to escape. Had it been going this whole time and he hadn't noticed? It was trying very hard to escape from his grasp.

While he was studying the microbot, he heard the faint _plinking_ of something up ahead as well as the motor he had recognized from outside, and shoved the microbot back into his pocket before continuing forward.

He stared at the large plastic-covered unit in the middle of the room. It appeared to be some kind of quick set up quarantine lab, but the only thing inside was a small set of machines, including a hand mechanism he recognized from the S-FIT tech fair, and a conveyor belt. Nothing that would require something like this and especially not his far away from the city.

He moved around the side of the lab to where the plinking sound was coming from and found a barrel that was slowly filling with multiple replications of his microbots. Glancing up, he noticed the barrels beyond it. At least a hundred barrels all filled to the top with microbots. If he assumed there were ten thousand per barrel, base don relative size and dimensions of the barrel versus the microbots, he'd know that the fear he felt seeping into his body was legitimate.

And when the microbots began rising from the barrels, seemingly on their own will, he knew it was.

Making a run for it, he bolted towards the door that had been locked from the outside and hoped there was some way to get through that would help him, futilely pulling on the locked doors until he was there was no way to open. His mind was running a mile a minute as he turned and watched the microbot army advancing on him. He bolted to his right and ran down a slim hall that had a hatch to seal it off and slammed it shut, throwing the locking mechanism down on it and stepping back, but the microbots burst through the door, sending him flying backwards and sliding along the ground.

He escaped into an underground vent system, crawling along as fast he could and came out on the other side of the building. He raced along, hearing the microbots, some still beneath him in the vent shaft, and felt his heart catch in his throat when they burst up from under him and sent him flying through the air towards a platform above where more windows were available. He'd have to escape through one of them.

He got up quickly once he'd landed and looked around, spotting someone at the other end of the platform and freezing up. This was a person attacking him. A live person saw him as a threat and was trying to kill him.

He turned when he'd finally been able to convince his body to escape and try to survive, and ran to the window. He pushed it open and peered down, seeing the long drop ahead, and inhaling sharply. He had only been _thinking_ about throwing himself from a window and was not at all prepared to be able to actually do that.

The microbots amassed behind him, covering the entire platform as they swiftly came towards him and he turned to face them in time for them to gather into a fist-like shape and charge forward, running straight into him and launching him backwards through the glass. He felt sharp stings as they hit his exposed flesh, especially that of his arms which he had instinctively thrown up in defense of himself, and cried out as they threw him out the window.

"Tadashi!" he screamed in a moment of panic, crying out for his big brother to save him before he slammed into the metal top of a dumpster far below-feeling the air in his lungs leave his body in one massive exhale-and flipped backwards over it and onto the ground. He lay there for a long time in pain, his lungs screaming as he struggled for the wind that had been knocked out of him and feeling a sharp stabbing pain in his right arm.

He rolled onto his side as he heard the microbots coming through the window above and was able to drag himself off the ground and limp away before they could gather for a second strike. He didn't think they'd just moderately wound him if he stuck around to see the show this time anyways.

Hiro limped home.

He didn't want to acknowledge his injuries too much, but he could tell his shoulder was definitely dislocated and he could feel the sting of cuts on his back and arms from the glass, microbots, and being thrown onto solid concrete. He was sure something was terribly wrong with his left leg, especially by the intense pain he got whenever he would step, but he couldn't risk the masked man catching up to him and half-ran when he could to get home as quickly as possible.

Luckily, Aunt Cass had gone out shopping by the time he got home, and he was able to get upstairs and into the bedroom without being stopped. When he stepped in, he noticed the screen to Tadashi's room was closed off, meaning Tadashi was probably asleep, or pretending to be anyways, and wouldn't notice Hiro just yet.

He made it to his bed before collapsing on top of it and crying out very softly in pain.

"Ow," he hissed.

A sound he hadn't heard in a very long time filled the room from behind the screen.

_Boop boop boop._

* * *

><p>At one point there was a version of this chapter that sucked worse than this, so be thankful I labeled that file "Skin Deep ch. 4-POOPY DONT POST NOPE" and rewrote it as this.<p>

On that note, I know this one took a little longer to post. I was having serious planning issues and as you can see kind of just vomited words onto the page here, so there might be some errors.

Also, I have now decided to update my twitter with news about the fics and how the chapters are going so my twitter can be found /SpectacledSloth there.

OKAY BYE \ o3o /


	5. Chapter 5

"I told you, I'm fine," Hiro said as Baymax gently applied bandages to the small cuts on his face and arms, "I just fell is all."

"Right, sure, you fell far enough and hard enough to _bruise your sternum_ _**and**__ your spine._ Right. Okay. What'd you do, climb the Empire State Building and _jump off the top?_" Tadashi had woken up when Baymax activated, and to say the very least he was pissed. He had been pacing and ranting at Hiro ever since Baymax had come out from behind the curtain and announced Hiro's injuries to the world. "**And!**" Tadashi shouted, then lowered his voice so Aunt Cass wouldn't hear, "_And,"_ he hissed, "You dislocated your shoulder and sprained your wrist_. Dislocated your shoulder, Hiro_."

"See, that's fairly simple to do," Hiro began matter-of-factly, "You just have to land properly. Or improperly, anyways." He shrugged with one shoulder and shied away from Baymax's large vinyl hands as they came in close to his forehead without warning and nearly jabbed him in the eye as he moved. "Watch it, big guy."

"You have a minor concussion and bruising above your... right ear." He moved around the side of the computer chair where Hiro had to moved to so he would stop trying to climb on the bed to bandage him up, and gently moved some of Hiro's messy hair out of the way. He had a small cut that ran the length of his ear down to his hairline and was bleeding pretty badly for such a small wound. "Stitches are recommended for best healing."

Hiro rolled the chair away as quickly as he could, "No way am I letting that big fluffy goof poke me with needles," he said, glancing at Tadashi. "No way."

"It's him or me, and I have mediocre-level medical training."

Frowning, Hiro slowly rolled the chair back into place and tilted his head as Baymax came at him with a small needle and began gently stitching the wound closed. Hiro could swear at some point he heard a small hissing noise as Baymax grabbed the needle, but brushed it off as nothing until Baymax had finished the treatment. The rest of his treated areas, including his lightly-wrapped wrist, still felt pretty sore, but without anesthetic and not much more than a basic first aid kit in the house, there wasn't much that could be done for his bruising. He'd have to live with it.

"Without anesthetic, this may hurt," Baymax said softly, coming to the side of his shoulder and taking his arm gently, "I will be using a modified Milch's technique to reduce your dislocated shoulder, Hiro," Baymax said, stepping around to the back of him and gently lifting his arm up and out to the side of his body, "It is minimally painful, but I recommend taking a mild pain reducer when the procedure is complete."

"Just do it," Hiro said, wincing as Baymax positioned his arm fully.

"Very well," he lifted his arm fully, then gently pushed on the back of Hiro's shoulder until it popped into place and Hiro gritted his teeth. It only hurt for a second, and afterwards the pain dulled until it only hurt to move it.

Baymax wrapped Hiro's shoulder gently, then put it in a quick improvised sling made ace bandages since they didn't have a real one on hand, and stepped back when he had successfully made the support and length right for Hiro's arm.

"If you are satisfied with your care, I will deactivate now."

Hiro rubbed at his shoulder a little, his muscles feeling tender around it when touched, and nodded, "I'm satisfied with my care," he grumbled, "I guess." He added as Baymax made his way to his suitcase and deflated.

"Now that you're all good," Tadashi began, "Where were you and what happened."

"I told you I'm fine."

"You're not fine."

"I'm _fine."_

"Hiro."

"_Tadashi."_

They were both quiet for a long time. The only sound that filled the room was the sound of their breathing and the occasional sound of a car passing on the street below the window. Hiro spun lightly in the chair, using his foot to gently propel his circle in place and Tadashi fiddled with the first aid kit that lay spread out on the bed. Both of them sighed simultaneously, glanced at each other, then away.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to talk earlier."

Hiro didn't speak, he just turned the chair away and faced the desk, fiddling with some of the figures and little bits of wire that lay on top of it, he still didn't want to talk, but there was something about the masked man that intrigued him. He turned back and opened his mouth to speak when Tadashi's phone rang.

"Hamada," Tadashi said when he answered it, stepping away from Hiro. "Okay." He looked concerned as he spoke, then hung up without any further speech and looked at Hiro, "Come on," he said, grabbing helmets for his scooter, "We're going for a drive."

"To where?"

"Just somewhere. Put the helmet on and come with me, no arguments." He started downstairs and Hiro considered not following him just to spite him, but maybe they'd go somewhere and he could tell him about the man in the kabuki mask. He had avoided it before, but now it was nagging at the back of his head. Something was off about everything. How had the man gotten his microbots? They were destroyed in the fire.

"Hiro!" he heard Tadashi shout, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Hiro raced down after him and joined him outside at his scooter.

When they rode past the half-constructed shell of the new showcase hall, Hiro felt sick in the pit of his stomach and he felt Tadashi's muscles tense under him. He turned his head away, looking at the ground as it rushed past. Even the blurred pavement made him feel less sick than the sight of that building did. This is how it felt every morning when they rode past for school, but seeing it at night was something different. Seeing it at night was like seeing it after the fire had been put out. After Tadashi had been carted out on a stretcher and Aunt Cass had hopped into the ambulance, leaving him there to get a ride with Wasabi and everyone instead of being by Tadashi's side like he should have been. It made him wish he could have thrown himself from the roof weeks ago.

They pulled up to the robotics building and stopped. Neither of them moved for a little while until everything had gone dead silent around them, then Tadashi dismounted the bike and headed for the door with Hiro hot on his heels behind him.

"Why are we here? You're not going to show me another nurse-bot are you?" Hiro scoffed.

Tadashi glanced back at him and jerked his head to signal for him to keep following him, leading him through the empty main lab and to the doors of his private lab.

Hiro could hear quiet chatter inside and furrowed his brow as Tadashi pushed the doors open, revealing their friends all sitting in small chairs in a half-circle in the middle of the room. Each of them had a small Styrofoam cup in their hands or around the legs of their chair, and they instantly went quiet when the doors opened.

"Hi, Hiro," Honey Lemon said with a smile, rising from her chair and placing her cup on the nearby table as she strode over and hugged him tightly, kissing both of his cheeks as she pulled away, "It's so good to see you."

"Honey." Tadashi said softly, and she instantly backed away and went back to her seat. "Hiro, take a seat," he said, beckoning him over to a chair as he stepped to one of his own.

"What is this? An intervention?" He laughed softly, then realized no one was really smiling at him. They all looked uncomfortable, or in the case of Go Go bored, and moderately concerned as he took his seat, sitting on his hands and looking around, "Seriously, guys." He looked at Tadashi who cleared his throat and looked around the room.

"Who wants to start?"

"No." Hiro stood up, kicking his chair away and marching towards the door, "Not happening."

"Hiro," Go Go said smoothly as she rose from her seat, "We don't want to do this any more than you do, but Tadashi has told us what you've been doing, what you've been thinking about, and now that you're here we see you're hurt. What are we supposed to do?"

Hiro looked down at himself. He was still wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing when he went to the warehouse, and now there were small holes and the occasional spot of blood on them, along with the bandages on his face and the wrap on his hand, the sling... he could see where they were coming from, especially if Tadashi had told them about his new roof-related hobbies.

He turned back to face them, "It's not what it looks like," he said quickly.

None of them looking convinced, Tadashi sighed and stood back up, coming towards him, "Hiro, please, just sit and listen to what we have to say."

"No, you don't get it! This," he shook his slung arm, "Has nothing to do with anything! I mean it does, but not that." He looked at everyone, darting his eyes around. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and his breaths were coming quicker now, "I didn't try to kill myself!" he said finally, "I've thought about it! I have! But none of this has anything to do with that. It has to do with the showcase. My Microbots. Someone is making more of them, and I think he's the same guy who started the fire."

They all sat quietly, taken aback by his admission, then listened as he recounted the story from the warehouse, detailing the mediocre workshop that was reproducing his microbots by the thousands, and telling them about the black-clad man in the kabuki mask. By the time he was close to being finished, he had taken a seat and couldn't hear anything over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears as he began babbling on about where the majority of his injuries came from and how he got away.

When he was finally done, he took a deep breath and looked at the floor, waiting for them to accuse him of lying or making it up, or to start telling him that if he'd tried to kill himself he didn't have to make up an elaborate story to cover it up.

Instead, he felt Tadashi's hand on his shoulder and looked up as Tadashi addressed the room, "If someone is making more of Hiro's microbots, it can't be for anything good. We need to investigate."

"You mean you believe me?"

"If my little brother says that a man in a kabuki mask attacked him with thousands of replications of his miniature flying robots hidden in an abandoned warehouse in the bay, I'm inclined to believe him. And not just because he's my brother," he smiled at him.

"Let's go then!" Fred cheered, punching his fist into the air, "Investigating the evil bad guy!"

* * *

><p>Badly written ending again. PPPPHHHHBBBBTTTT.<p>

In other news I know how I'm ending this fic, I just have to get there. Probably two chapters to wrap up the storyline that intertwines with the book (both 3000+ words I'm hoping) and then the final chapter will wrap up the veeeeeerrrrry last bit of the movie plot and delve into the stuff this fanfic was built on: coping with PTSD. Essentially anyways.

As always feel free to leave a review, fanfic/plot suggestion, or message me here, my tumblr OR MY TWITTER! I have started using twitter again as a means to keep y'all updated in case I drop off the face of the planet for some reason when it comes to writing fics, so I will post at least twice a week, sometimes more if I'm writing a new chapter or fic, so just hop on over there (link on my profile) if you're interested in keeping up and participating in suggesting plot twists or new fic ideas! If I like it I write it! (Poorly, but it happens regardless!)

KAY THANKS


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